This taken from a teaching I gave at the Church of the Apostles Women’s Brunch, February 14, 2026,

Whether you are married, single, widowed, divorced, looking for that special someone or not at all interested, the topic I have chosen applies to every person here: Love in the Secret Place.

Let’s Pray: Omnipotent Father, Redeeming Son and Precious Holy Spirit, Creators of the Universe, potters at the wheel, molding and making us into your likeness. Pure brides fit for your Kingdom.

We’ve feasted on delicious food; we’ve loved on one another and welcomed our sisters in Christ. Now we want to focus only on you, the Lover of our Souls. Give me discernment to speak what’s on your heart and anoint our ears to hear what you want us to hear. We come to you, in humility, seeking a closer relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Draw us close to your side and into your own secret place.  Amen.

Finding the Secret Place

When Sherry, our first child was born eighteen months after Charlie and I were married, I was still trying to adjust to marital bliss. We considered ourselves on the five year plan—work, save, buy a house, and then start a family. I wasn’t prepared for motherhood.

As you know, our best laid plans often go awry. We were married just six months when I thought I had a bad case of the flu. I hadn’t a clue. But one visit with the doctor nailed it—our first child’s arrival would change everything.

Sherry was a beautiful baby, but she wanted my constant attention. In those days, the government only allowed six weeks maternity leave for the mother, the father got nothing. Not that it would have helped, changing diapers wasn’t in Charlie’s job description for fatherhood. Though I loved working as a personnel assistant in the Pentagon, I hated leaving my baby and returning to work.  Fortunately, my mother-in-law agreed to watch Sherry.

But every morning I went to work exhausted after a sleepless night. Keeping up with the added chores of washing diapers and bottles left little time to enjoy  my baby girl. She was only a couple of months old when she developed a cold accompanied by a high fever. We were home alone when her eyes rolled back in her head and her back stiffened. Was she having a convulsion? I frantically cried out to God.

Because Charlie had gone to work with our only car, I had to call his father to take us to the ER. Looking back, I know God was with me, because the baby’s pediatrician happened to be in Arlington hospital the very moment we arrived.

Though the doctor put her on phenobarbital, the convulsions still reared their ugly head every time she had a slight fever. I was afraid to leave her in her crib. She slept many nights on my chest. When I requested prayer of someone at church, the woman (I don’t even remember who) suggested I pray Psalm 91 over my baby girl.

From the moment I began praying that Psalm over Sherry, she never had another convulsion. That became my first lesson in praying the power-filled Word of God. But more than that, God used that experience to introduce me to a wonderful place—a place of love, joy, wisdom, and so much more.

Psalm 91 (NKJV) begins with an interesting verse, “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.”

As I prayed the words, I wondered about that “Secret Place.” Where was it and how could I find it? The benefits described later in the text made me long for such a place. The second verse stirred my interest. “I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress. My God, in Him I will trust.”

Could the Secret Place be a place of trust? Could I release my own control to an unseen God? Could I trust Him with my baby? With my marriage? With my life?

When I was a child of about nine or ten years of age, I remember walking through a pine forest on our farm in South Georgia. Though alone, I felt a presence with me, surrounding me. I never felt more loved. Somehow, I knew that presence was Jesus, and my young heart poured out my longings to him.

As I grew older and began studying his Word, I realized that God created us for himself, for intimate fellowship with him. Before the fall, Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden experienced remarkable fellowship in God’s holy presence. Moses was called a friend of God. He prayed, “If it is true that you look favorably on me, let me know your ways so I may understand you more fully and continue to enjoy your favor.” Exodus 33:13 (NLT)

So what is this Secret Place and what does it have to do with us? It’s anywhere or anytime we make space for the glory of God’s presence. In that secret place we get to truly know him, his character, his divinity, His holiness, the revelation of who he is. He reveals his love to us and bids us to draw closer.

We were created to be in his presence! Jesus humbled himself and took on flesh to introduce us to the God of the Universe and to reveal his great love for us. He demonstrated our need for a close relationship with the Father.

Jesus often withdrew from the crowds to be alone with God. He said he was in the Father, and the Father was in him. And he made an amazing promise before he went to the cross. “If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.” John 14:15-17 (ESV)

Jesus spoke of the Holy Spirit of God who came to the believers on the Day of Pentecost and is still present in each of us who have believed on His name.

Paul said in his letter to the Colossian church that “To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Colossians 1:27 (ESV)

Back in the 80s while discipling the summer interns at Church of the Apostles we used the book, “Intimate Friendship with God, through understanding the fear of the Lord,” by Joy Dawson. In the forward she says, “To have a nodding acquaintance with the Creator of the universe is no small thought. But to be on intimate terms with him is enough to give your heart flutters for the rest of our lives.”

What is the fear of the Lord and how does it relate to our fellowship with the trinity? Regardless of how it sounds, it is not being afraid of God. But it’s knowing the great God of the universe and being in awe of Him. Throughout the Old and New Testaments, the Bible reveals the character of God—His holiness, his mighty power, his wisdom, faithfulness, mercy, love and truth. And He has revealed Himself to us.

Let’s take a moment to worship him for who he is, the wonder of his character that he reveals through his Word and through those quiet moments focused on Him. In a few words, name one trait of his character he has revealed to you. Let’s glorify him for who he is. (Pause)

In the Secret Place He refines us:  In the Old Testament, when the priest entered the Holy of Holies once a year, he cleansed himself and offered sacrifices to be worthy to enter such a holy place. But when Jesus died on the cross, he made the ultimate sacrifice as he offered himself for our sin and made a way for us to be worthy, holy, righteous. We enter his presence through the blood of the Lamb, in humility, thankful for the righteousness of our Savior.

But as we come to him he knows our weaknesses, our needs. He knows us better than we know ourselves. We willingly surrender ourselves to his Lordship and welcome his presence into every hidden place in our heart.

The Apostle John clearly declared what we must do to free us from guilt and sin.  “And these things we write to you that your joy may be full. This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that “God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:4-9 (NLT)

In a recent sermon, Pastor Nick said, “Where there is no repentance there is no peace.”  God wants us to admit our sin, not hide it or deny it. But bring it to Him and confess it.

The writer of Hebrews said, “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves.” Hebrews 12:6a (ESV)

Believe me, throughout the years, I have experienced the love of his discipline.  In His Secret Place he prunes me, molds me to make me more like him. My judgmental attitude must go along with pride, selfish ambition, unforgiveness, jealousy, gossip, and a controlling spirit, to name a few.

As we yield to His Lordship, his desires for us become our desires. He shows us his Servant’s heart and gives us the compassion and strength to serve others.

Towards the end of my husband’s life, Charlie was unable to do much for himself. Amid the difficult months as a caregiver, I found myself resenting the fact that he could no longer take care of himself. Our life changed dramatically when we had to turn down invitations to travel with friends. I couldn’t even leave him to attend church. I resented this new role Charlie’s illness had forced me into.

With such an attitude, my prayers seemed to halt at the ceiling. But in the Secret Place, like King David, I poured out my complaints to the Lord. (Psalm 142:2)  In his compassion and love, God gave me a heart to serve my husband. The next time Charlie apologized for the mess I had to clean up, the words came from deep within my spirit. “Honey, it’s okay. It’s my pleasure to serve you!” I can’t tell you how much love poured out of my heart in that moment.  For my husband and for our God who cares about how we treat his dear children.

There is healing in the Secret Place:

In that Secret Place, he identifies with our pain. Some of us carry painful scars from our past—mental and physical abuse, rejection and abandonment. But in His presence, there is healing. His love surrounds us with songs of deliverance. He assures us of our position in his Kingdom. Because of Jesus,  John declares in the first chapter of his Gospel, “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” John 1:12, 13 (ESV)

Isaiah prophesied of the coming Messiah, “A bruised reed, he will not break. . .” (Isaiah 42:3a)

As God wraps us in love, our shattered hearts are healed, and he teaches us the value of forgiveness. When we forgive that person who has offended, abused or harmed us in any way, God breaks that offense from us. We are released to love as Christ loves, to live holy lives though surrounded by a dark world. Some of the prayer warriors here have a ministry of praying inner healing over those who are suffering from past trauma. If you need this kind of deep prayer, I encourage you to call the church office and make an appointment. This kind of prayer brings our pain into the very presence of Jesus.

In the Secret Place God shares His heart with us and shows us how to pray:

We read in Ephesians 1, “In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ. . .” Ephesians 1:7-9 (ESV),

He opens our eyes and ears to see and hear what he is doing throughout his kingdom. He welcomes us to cooperate with him in his work and shows us how we fit into his plan. That beggar on the street corner; that immigrant who struggles to feed his family; that neighbor going through a divorce; that co-worker without a smile, that troubled fellow student at school. Out of the blue he gives us a mission.

Sometimes he shows me the face of someone he wants me to telephone or just pray for. Other times, I am prompted to pray for a people group in other lands, for the persecuted church, for babies in danger of abortion. For women who grieve the loss of a child, for prodigals who’ve lost their way, for families struggling to stay together. Recently I have been burdened for teenagers overwhelmed with peer pressure, the need to perform, their search for identity.

God cares about every person, and he wants us to see them as he sees them—people for whom Christ died. His priorities become our priorities. He encourages us to “Keep in step with His Spirit—hear what he is saying, see what he sees, pray what he puts on our hearts, and do what he wants us to do.

And finally, The Secret Place is a storehouse of spiritual riches. Isaiah prophesied about the Messiah. “The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon Him. The Spirit of wisdom and understanding. The Spirit of counsel and might. The spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord.” Isaiah 11:2 (NKJV)

The scholars in the temple marveled at Jesus’ wisdom and understanding even at the age of 12 years old.

The Holy Spirit within us is that same Spirit of Jesus which gives us access to all his knowledge, understanding and wisdom. His Spirit helps us understand God’s Word and discern right from wrong. He teaches us and directs our steps. One of my favorite verses is Proverbs 3:5,6 (ESV); “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path.”

He gives us peace in the middle of the storm. In my Life Group we are now studying Max Lucado’s book, Tame your Thoughts. I love a concept from the chapter on anxiety. “Sometimes he calms the storm. Other times, however, he chooses to calm the child.”

Another quote in that same study: “If you believe you face your problems alone, you will never find deep and lasting peace. On the other hand, if you believe that you face your challenges in the Lord—in the presence of the Lord, in the name of the Lord, in the power of the Lord, in the protection of the Lord—then you can be full of joy because you are full of the Lord.”

Jesus makes a way where there is no way. After Charlie passed, I struggled to move on without him. But amid that confusing time, I released my control to God, and I knew he was with me. I felt as if I were being carried in his arms. What a blessing to know that God was there and his Spirit was guiding my every step.

He surrounds us with songs of deliverance. For those who know me, you know that I love music. In that secret place, as I read the Psalms or listen to audio Scripture, a hymn or worship song fills my mind.  The lyrics, the melody, the spirit ministers to my spirit. Words that raise me up above my circumstances and give me hope. I feel so blessed, I can’t wait to share it with others. (During the teaching, I paused a few times to sing a worship song. Praying and singing the Psalms is another way to enter His presence.”

He puts Joy in our hearts, unexplainable, unfiltered JOY! A joy that doesn’t rely on feelings or circumstances, but the One who is greater than our fears. “In His presence, there’s fullness of joy! (Psalm 16:11)

He gives me courage, strength and armor to stand against the fiery darts of Satan. When our thoughts, fears and past failures try to bring us down, we cry out to our refuge and fortress. We claim our position as a child of God, and we speak truth into every situation.

Which brings me to one of the many treasures found in the Secret Place. He comforts us in our sorrows. Though Charlie had been sick for so long, I still was unprepared for his passing. The doctor had left the room less than a couple of hours before with a good report, “His vital signs are good.” She was ready to transfer him to rehab. But God had another plan. I left his side to visit the restroom a few steps away. When I came out, my daughter and son-in-law from NJ were entering the room. I looked to greet them and noticed Ray looking at Charlie, “He’s not breathing!” In the two minutes I left his side, my husband left me for a better place.

I still miss Charlie and his teasing personality. Someone to share moments, both good and bad. Someone to share life with. Someone to hold hands with as we watch sappy movies. “Didn’t we see this before?” he’d tease. When I insisted it was new for the season, he’d complain. “Well, it certainly has the same story line.” We usually missed the first few scenes debating the movie. He would have preferred an action/adventure movie, but he tolerated my preference because he loved me. How I miss those moments. But God gives me the strength to move forward.

In my Life Group, our last study was also from Max Lucado and his book, “What Happens Next?”  Max’s chapter on Paradise brought great comfort to my spirit as I pictured Charlie being welcomed through the gates by friends and family members who had gone before. Charlie might have left me, but Jesus always keeps his promise, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” God is with me and I’m thankful for his presence every time I enter that Secret Place with my Lord and Savior.

Let’s pray: For these, my dear friends, I pray with the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Ephesians:  “that out of God’s glorious riches, he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:16-19)